greener seems to fall beneath your feet

okay today was a bad day. but i'm listening to Tally Hall right now and they are making me feel better.

i ended up working tonight 3:30 to 10pm. sure, why not!? i really expected it to be a quiet night.

go downstairs. check in with the staff.

i'm downstairs maybe 15 minutes and the screaming begins.

SCREAMING. FIGHTING. NAME-CALLING. DOOR SLAMMING. did i mention screaming? and lots of crying.

this lasted pretty much nonstop until around 6:30 or so. actually maybe more like 7. i don't know.

i was so frustrated i wanted to cry. like, if i hadn't pulled it together in 5 seconds, i would have burst into tears. instead, i bottled. and immediately began shaking. which, still hasn't stopped.

have i ever been that angry and frustrated? so much so that i started shaking? i can't remember. i'm questioning the night back in the fall that i almost got punched in the face. but, that may have been shaking out of plain fear.

i was SO ANGRY tonight. SO FRUSTRATED. it was horrible. it was horrible.


so, my boss called me at 12:30pm and asked if i would work tonight. i figured i really needed the money.

when i got to work, she told me that she had already been so frustrated and fed up by 12:30pm, after 4.5 hours of working, and she didn't think she could make it the rest of the night.

then, she called me again at the end of the night to check in to see how i was doing and she said to me (this is a quote):

BOSS: This was one of the worst days I have ever put in.


BAD. it was bad.

and i don't think the rest of the week will be too great either...

TUESDAY: staff meeting. hopefully not too bad.
WEDNESDAY: car appointment. probably spending a lot of money.
THURSDAY: dreading. dreading. dreading.
FRIDAY: we'll see.

SATURDAY: Crash Kings in New York?! maybe?! hopefully?!!?!
SUNDAY: Crash Kings in New Jersey!? HOPEFULLY!!!!!!!
MONDAY: spend either in Maine or New Hampshire. maybe?!
TUESDAY: Crash Kings in Boston?! MAYBE?!!?

this weekend has the possibility to ROCK SO FREAKING HARD. i've been in seriously awesome contact with the girl who i might Crash Kings Roadtrip with. IF the whole thing happens.

which, it's looking like it will.

AAHHHHHH CRASH KINGS THREE TIMES IN FOUR DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!

wow this weekend could totally rock. i just need to get there. oooooo i really hope it happens. reaaallyyyyyy reaallyyyyy hope.

this girl who i've been emailing, who will come with me this weekend if it all happens, sounds like the exact version of myself. it's like myself in another person.

we're creating these versions of how this weekend could go that include hanging out with the band every free second.

like, "well, this is our plan for food...unless we end up eating all our meals with the band."
or, "okay, this is our hotel plan... unless we end up staying with the band."
or, "we'll have to find stuff to do on sunday afternoon... but that's when maximum band hangout time could happen...."

so cool.


DEAR UNIVERSE,

please go the exact opposite of today and make everything good happen from now on.
ok thanks bye!

LOVE, JULIE


OH.

so, while we're on the subject of bad things happening in the world. (well, i guess this on a smaller scale of the bad things happening in the world...)

MATT WINTER is leaving Rooney.

it was announced last week. the day before my birthday. MATT WINTER. leaving. ROONEY.

oh, it was a sad day. i am sad. especially because i am totally in love with Matt Winter.

he's going to medical school to become a doctor. which, i guess is a great thing. he said it's something he's always wanted to do. yeah, that's great. but still sad.

and crazy that Kara and I saw Rooney on the last tour with all original members! AND that i got all their signatures on my Rooney shirt! including Matt's!

i guess in the celeb world you call them "autographs," not "signatures." geeze julie, pull it together.

oh, but i still remember standing there, shaking Matt Winter's hand and looking into his beautiful eyes. ooooo that was a really great moment. and he was wearing that icy blue shirt.

i just realized that i was tensing up while i have been typing. i had to take a relaxation moment.

anyways.

ok. i am really hungry and i think that is now contributing to my shakiness and headache. i'm going to go eat something and probably watch more 30 Rock. i had been having a good day before work because i was getting caught up on 30 Rock. soooooo funny.

i have The Hurt Locker here from netflix, but i don't think i can watch it tonight.


i'll talk to you again tomorrow. have a good tuesday.


<3