Friday, March 22, 2013

hurry boy, she's waiting there for you.

And now I will describe my mood with a photo from The Royal Tenenbaums:


Yep.  That's pretty much it.  It was a hard day to get through.  I'm still getting through it.


I had a great day on Wednesday, let me tell you about that.  

I woke up, got my oil changed and my car inspected.  She passed!  Then I got a coffee.  Iced vanilla chai with espresso and soy milk.  It. Was. Delish.  

Came home, SHOVELED.  Like cray.  In front of the garage, the side path to the garage door, and then in front of the mailbox.  Which was terrifying because my road is busy.  I was really scared, which was actually great because I did it in like prob under 10 minutes.  Well, maybe under 15 minutes.  But it was HARD.  The snow was like, at least two feet deep in parts from all the plowing.  

BUT, I knew that MAYBE a letter from Ben would be coming soon, and I didn't want my laziness mixed with snow piles to be the reason I didn't get it.  

THEN, I took a shower and got ready to go out for

MANICURES!  Me and my friend Julie went to get manicures!  It was way fun.  I got a shade of teal that perfectly matches my purse :)  It's perfect.  They look so pretty!  I got the gel kind so it should stay on for a couple weeks.  And I decided I'll get them done again before I go to Chicago in six weeks.  And, I think it was a great deal.  It was $30 PLUS they did the paraffin dip on your hands.  It was really nice.  

Treat yo' self!

Then we got margaritas!!!!  YUM.  That was really fun, too.  Lots of girl talk.  Love it.

Then I went home and had to get ready to go to the gym with Kara.  Met her there, did some workin' out.  

Came home, watched more GIRLS.  Started Season 2.  (Don't judge.)

And (I won't give anything away) there is a part where one of the main characters finds herself jobless and wondering what she's going to do for work....  And I'm thinking to myself, "STRIPPER!"  

No deal.  The show STILL isn't about strippers.  Even in season 2.  But, there was THIS PART:


In case you can't see, SHE'S EATING COOL WHIP WITH A SPOON RIGHT OUT OF THE CONTAINER.  And that was the moment where I thought, "yes, this show is perfect."  

And, again:


And this this picture, SHE'S EATING A WHOLE CAKE WITH A FORK.  

OBVIOUSLY this show is called GIRLS because she's doing everything I WANT TO DO.  

We all have those days where we just want to eat a whole can of whipped cream.  Man, I was laughing so hard at the Cool Whip scene.  I even wrote to Ben about it in a letter.  I was like, "YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT SHE DID ON GIRLS!!!!"  

Because on all the Navy forums, they say to write about things in the "real world," like, what's happening on certain TV shows, sports scores, etc.  Now, I love the guy, but I'm not going to send him sports scores.  I wouldn't even know where to go or who to ask to find out that stuff.  It's like hard drugs.

So instead, he's getting updates on GIRLS, which is a show he's never seen.  :-D


Anyways.  So, I come home from work on Thursday and I'm getting closer and closer to home and thinking, "there might might might maybe be a letter in the mailbox..."  but I wasn't getting TOO excited because last Friday when I thought I would get the form letter with his address and I didn't - I cried the whole night.  Like a lame girl.

So, I stop at the end of the driveway and get out, admiring the newly shoveled path to the mailbox.  There were fresh tire tracks in the mud, so I knew we got SOME mail.  I opened the mailbox and saw an envelope that definitely didn't look like a bill.  It could have been for my roommate.... I took a closer look...

♥ it was my letter.  My first REAL letter!!!  So I RAN inside, gave Ruby a hug, threw off my jacket and purse and dropped my work bag on the ground - I was SO EXCITED.  This letter would be the longest communication I've had in OVER two weeks!!!  And I was just so proud of myself thinking,

JULIE:  I'm so excited to get this letter - I'm not even going to cry!!  I'm just too excited for crying!!

I jumped on the chair by the window, opened the letter, burst into tears.  

Oh well.  I've pretty much been crying ever since.  Yeah, just like one of those LAME GIRLS whose boyfriend leaves for the Navy and then she cries all the time.  

AS LONG as I don't turn into Bella in the second Twilight - I'll be okay.  That shit was pathetic.

But, I mean, my first letter.  OBVIOUSLY I'm going to cry.  

So, I read it through twice immediately.  It was really funny.  Made me laugh, made me cry.  It amazed me to read how many of the same things we said to each other.  For serious.  And he said he made a calendar in his notebook to count down the days, and that made me happy, because I'm crossing off the days on my calendar that I stressed so much over buying.  

I wasn't sure if having it would make it seem longer or shorter.  It took some hard brainpower.  But, ultimately it was a good decision.  

It sounds like overall - Ben is doing okay.  Some parts he really seemed to doubt himself, which I assume is normal, but made me sad.  At the same time, made me happy because I think I've written very good letters so far.  He said once he had heard from me it would make him feel better, and I have no doubt about that.  

I'll be okay.  Today was just hard because it made me miss him a lot.  And I just felt angry all day we  can't talk.

Like, last night I wrote a letter in RESPONSE to his letter, which felt really good!  It felt like having a conversation!  But then today I was angry. 

EMOTIONS.  

Ben gave me a moonstone ring before he left, because you're supposed to give a loved one a moonstone if you're going to be away from there for a while, but it's also supposed to give you emotional support.  Ya know, like how the 'moon controls our emotions..'  Sometimes I think it's working and sometimes I think it's making me more emotional.

But OVERALL - I think I'M doing okay.  Like, really okay.  I'm surprised that I'm not crying myself to sleep EVERY night!  

ANYWAYS, I just made a BOSS playlist.  I even downloaded the Broadway version of 'Kiss the Girl' to put on it.  The movie version just wouldn't do.  Yes, I'm talking about The Little Mermaid.

Playlist also includes favorites by Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato.  You thought I was lying when I said it was BOSS....

So this weekend:  

-  I have a very busy day tomorrow.  I have a lot to accomplish.  I can't tell you what it is.
-  SUNDAY I'm going to see A Chorus Line with Alana!!!  She just texted me today asking if I'd be interested and I was like UM YES I LOVE CHORUS LINE.  At Seacoast Rep.

The last time I saw Chorus Line live it was at Seacoast Rep the summer between my Freshman and Sophomore year in high school.  Why do I remember this?  Because JOSH YOUNG was in it.  Yes, that same Josh Young that was recently nominated for a TONY for being in Jesus Christ Superstar on Broadway.  LOVE HIM.  Sooooooo much.  Probably forever.

Oh Josh Young.  Don't get me started.  Don't EVEN get me started.  But everybody in the world should see him play Marius in Les Miserables.  EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD.  


Alright.  It's about that time where I'm so hungry that I shut down and start panicking because I have no food and I hate cooking.  I should get into bed and watch GIRLS.  Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.  I had some gluten-free bread when I got home from work, thanks to Jenn Sabin's mom.  It's great.  I love it.

Ever get bruises on you leg from scratching it too hard?  I have one of those right now.  As I grow up, I'm realizing that I bruise very easily.  

OK.  Time to get out of the bath.  HA.  Yep I was totally in the bath this whole time.  

See, I was having a really bad night, and then I came here and started talking to you guys, and now I feel better.  Thanks for listening.  

Have a great weekend!  Spring Breakers came out in theaters tonight!  Kara has big hopes for this one.  We're seeing it ASAP.  

Bye, friends!

love,
Julie





we both go together if one falls down
i talk out loud like you're still around



 



Tuesday, March 19, 2013

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

So today I got home from work and decided something important.  I decided I was going to watch the HBO show GIRLS.  I mean, it won all those awards at the Golden Globes, that girl Lena Dunham seems pretty cool... I would probably like it. 

Now, I don't know why I thought this show was about strippers.  Maybe cause when you see the word GIRLS in all caps you also expect it to be in flashing neon lights.  Maybe?  IDK. 

So, I downloaded Season 1 and just dived right in. 

About..... 25 seconds into the show I knew I was going to love it.  Nay, I ALREADY loved it.  It was already hilarious, I already could relate to the main character... LOVE. 

I proceeded to get into bed and watch the next six episodes. 

Even after the first episode I was like, "OK, so the main girl is getting finacially cut off from her parents and has to get a real job to support her hipster lifestyle in Brooklyn.... SHE BECOMES A STRIPPER!" 

But the show continued not being about strippers episode after episode after episode.  So finally I concluded:  This show is not about strippers.

And it's not!  Not at all.  Not even a little bit. 

And I still love it!  It's super funny and pretty realistic.  The whole show is about girls trying to make it through their lives.... being in Brooklyn, being in their 20's... trying to act like grown-ups. 

Same GENERAL IDEA as New Girl.... but without the catchy theme song.  Like, you just know exactly how the character feels because at some point in your life you've also gone through that situation. 

I totally recommend it if you're a girl trying to figure your life out.  Which, let's call a spade a spade, is pretty much every girl.  ;-)


Another thing I realized I love:  'The First Day of My Life,' by Bright Eyes.  Who knew?  I mean, I knew I liked that song, but the other day when it came on my "Bishop Allen" Pandora station I was like, OMG I HAVEN'T HEARD THIS SONG IN FOREVS AND I TOTALLY LOVE IT. 

And I've been listening to it like crazy.  It's so pretty!  And whenever I think of Bright Eyes, I think back to when we saw Ben Lee at the Iron Horse in Northampton, MA and he went on and on about this dream he had about Conor from Bright Eyes and it was so weird and random.  He seriously talked about it for like probs ten minutes.  Jenny Valeri - do you remember this!!?  Hilars!


So, the other morning when Ben called, I was in the middle of having this dream which I think is really weird.  I was dreaming that I was sleeping and all of a sudden woke up because I heard this helicopter outside.  I assumed it was flying over, but it kept getting louder and louder, so finally I reached over and pulled back my curtain and the helicopter was flying RIGHT outside my window.

It was a white helicopter with USA painted in large red letters on the side.  And I saw it and immediately thought, "oh, that helicopter must be carrying new recruits."  And then I grabbed my phone and took a picture of it to show Kara when I went over to see her that morning.

And THEN my phone started ringing, I REALLY woke up, saw it was a call coming in from Illinois... and knew that it was Ben.  I didn't get to tell him about it (because we could only talk for three minutes), but I wrote to him about it.  And that letter is in the mail.

Because later on that night when I checked the mailbox, I saw an envelope with his handwriting on it, and I knew that it was 'the form letter.'  This is the form letter that they 'fill-in-the-blank' with their address, graduation date, guests for graduation, etc. 

So I immediately addressed all the letters I had written and sent them out! 

And waiting for a letter from him is going to be GREAT motivation for shoveling out the mailbox tomorrow.  Do I really care if I can get my car out of the garage?  ......not really.  But a letter from Ben?  Yeah, I'll shovel that. 


That's Ruby helping me write a letter the other night.  Cutie!  Only SIX MORE WEEKS until I go to Chicago!!!!! 

And a WEEK from this Saturday (the 30th, that's also MARIA'S birthday!!) I'll be in NYC for the day to hang out with Kerianne, Noel, Joe and Aliya (hopefully!)  Can't can't wait.  It's going to be great.

So tomorrow:

-  oil change/inspection at 10:45

and those are all my plans!  I'm pretty excited/worried I'll get bored and lonely. 
Oh, and the lady from Wentworth Douglass patient is calling me back so I can pay off the rest of the bill over the phone.  :-/  Ya see, I'm now answering my phone at every weird looking number JUST IN CASE it's Ben calling me... normally I would avoid these calls thinking that maybe they are people in patient accounts departments looking for my money.

And that's what happened today.  I answered the phone and SURE ENOUGH she wanted me to pay off my $70 balance on my bill.  I said I couldn't get to my debit card right now (because I was in the car), and she was like, "oh well can I call you back tomorrow?"  and I was like, "......sureeeeee....." 

That was the blood work I had done back in November so the doctor could tell me I needed to pay TWELVE DOLLARS for special vitamin D pills. 

Next thing you know, I'll be paying off my doctor's appointment from Nov 2011 cause I'll accidentally answer that phone call.  Great. 

Well, actually, it would be great.  Because then I wouldn't have it looming over my bank account.  I should try and straighten out my finances like a real grown-up.  Just like on GIRLS. 

Except she doesn't have any money either. 

We'll all figure it out eventually. 

Maybe I'll get my nails done tomorrow.  Treat myself.  Anybody interested in coming with?  Eh.  I probs won't do it.  I'll probably just stay home all day and watch Season 2 of GIRLS. 

Anybody want to get lunch?  Cheap lunch?  I guess it depends on how easy the driving is.  Hopefully easy. 

The guy just came and plowed the driveway :)  Maybe I won't have to do much driveway shoveling tomorrow!!  That would make me very, very happy.  But I will shovel the mailbox. 

Oh, I have laundry to do tomorrow.  I think I'm going to remake my bed tonight.  UGH, what I really should do is sort through all of Ben's laundry. 

But then I think about it and say to myself, 'I've got six weeks to do it... and then probably a few more weeks before he can even wear civilian clothes...'  and that's plenty of time. 

'Why do today what you can do tomorrow?  That way if you die tomorrow you won't have spent your last day on Earth doing laundry.'

One of my favorite quotes.  So true.

OK.  I think that's about it.  If I think of anything else, I'll be sure to let you know.  It feels good to be blogging again.  I missed you all dearly.  And I made this whole blog and had the big grand opening and then hardly used it!  And that's pretty lame!!!

(fun fact::  the day i had my big new blog premiere was the day i met ben!  february 24.  and then we had our first date like... two weeks later!)

OK.  I'm going now for real.  Ruby is getting mad that I'm not paying attention to her.  I'll go get one of her toys. 

Hope everyone is having a good snowy week!  Hope you don't have to do much shoveling. 

Take care, friends!  Talk to you laterrrr!!!


♡,
Julie




yours is the first face that i saw
i think i was blind before i met you
i don't know where i am, i don't know where i've been
but i know where i want to go
 
 




Saturday, March 16, 2013

"This morning - I woke up crying!"

I was just awoken by a phone call from Ben :)

I have a feeling in about an hour or two, this phone call will "make my day."  But right now, I have to explain my feelings with a quote from New Girl,

"I cry too, I cry all the time!  I cry in my bedroom, in the bathroom, in the hallway, in the elevator.  This morning, I woke up crying."


Call only lasted three minutes, but I heard his voice.  ♥


I knew I was smart buying those extra tissues before he left. 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

grabs right hold of your heart

Hi friends!

Updates!  I'm having a pretty good week.  I LOVE my desk and letter-writing station.  I've written two letters so far.  They are sitting on my desk still because I have no address to send them to.

I did get the box with Ben's stuff in it!  I had to go pick it up at the FedEx office yesterday in Portsmouth.  I managed to wait until I got into my car to start crying, which I look at as a big accomplishment. 

FEDEX LADY:  Name?
JULIE:  Julie Evans.
FEDEX LADY:  Ok, I'll go look.  (goes out back, gets box, bring it back around front.)  Yep, right here.  Do you have your license?
JULIE:  (sees Ben's handwriting on the outside of the box....)  My boyfriend just left for the Navy and this is all his stuff they're sending back!!!!!
FEDEX LADY:  ....Your license?
JULIE:   Oh yeah...

It was kind of awkward.  I cried a lot in the car, and I was okay with it, because I hadn't cried in exactly one week.  That's actually a big milestone, haha. 

I was hoping I'd get the letter with his address today... but not yet.  Maybe tomorrow. 

Anyways!  I had a super productive day yesterday.

1.  I woke up early and had breakfast with Ben's sister, Alana!  I parked at her house in Dover and then we walked to Harvey's.  Delish.  I've never had breakfast there until recently and it's great.  It was a really nice time.  I'm glad we saw each other.

2.  Then down to Portsmouth Toyota to re-sign a car buying contract.  Apparently Toyota updated all their contracts like the day before I bought my car, but the guy forgot and had me sign the old one.  So, I had to go down there and sign the right one.  Easy breezy.  I just walked in there like I owned the place.  Geeze, I've been there enough recently, I feel like I do. 

JULIE:  Yeah, Mark is expecting me.. I'll show myself to his office.

(That's what I felt like saying.)

(also, there's this realllllyyyyyy pretty blue-ish Prius on the lot and i reallllllllyyyy like it.)

3.  Then I drove over to the FedEx office.  I was worried I'd have trouble finding it because sometimes those distribution offices are in weird sketch industrial office parks... but this one was pretty easy to find.

4.  Then I stopped at Baby Ben's coffee!  I had driven past this place a lot recently and tried to go there twice, but they were always closed.  They're on Dover Point Rd.  Cute inside.  The guy gave me the whole,

COFFEE GUY:  Ummmm we actually can't put the raspberry syrup in the coffee drinks because it's not the dairy kind and it kind of curdles if we do it.....
JULIE:  Yeah I get raspberry syrup in everything and I'm used to this.  You can do it anyways.
COFFEE GUY:  Ok.

Pssshhh.  Give me a raspberry syrup situation that I CAN'T talk my way out of.  PLEASE.  Try me.

5.  Then I booked it up to Market Basket to do a LIGHTENING ROUND of grocery shopping for my dinner party which I had tonight. 

6.  Then I booked it home, unpacked the groceries, opened the box from Ben to find his cell phone and alllllllll his military intake papers, changed for work,

7.  And then I worked all evening in Sanford!  Busy day, busy girl.  Sanford was actually a nice break, though.  Usually Wednesdays in Sanford are crazytown, but it was pretty quiet.  I just kind of was there to help if needed.... which was actually kind of tough because the "helping" computer wasn't working.  Oh well.  I got to hang out with Dakota, Nicole and Caren. 

8.  Got home at 7:30 and then went to the gym with my roommate, Laurie!  I had a KILLER workout. 

9.  Came home around 9:30, wrote Ben a letter, took a shower, made a sandwich for dinner and then went to BED. 

Man, I was exhausted.  I'm even exhausted now just telling you about it.  I did a lot.  And I got gas before heading out to breakfast, so I reset my mileage thing, and at the end of the day I had put 85 miles on my car!  85 miles!!!  Dat shit cray.


And then I had a dinner party tonight!  Meg, Jenn and Kara were coming over!!!!  Kara got me a SUPER-CUTE crockpot for my birthday and I was going to break it in.  So, I did!  I made vegetable risotto, asparagus and roasted potatoes.  Strawberry shortcake for dessert.  Everything was pretty good, I was impressed with myself. 

I pretty much started cooking right when I got home from work and was still cooking after everyone got here.  It was a lot of chopping to do. 

We had fun!  It's nice just sitting around with ladies having dinner.  Last week we went to Jenn's house, this week my house, and next week we're going to Kara's house.  I really hope it's a weekly thing because I think it would be really fun.  Switching hosts and whatnot.  I like my friends.  And it's cool because I've known Meg and Jenn for a LONG time.  Like.... 11 years?  Wow.  Cray.  We worked together a longggg time ago, haha.


So, story about Ben's cell phone.... It arrived, and I plugged it in to charge up, just to make sure it was still working after the journey.  And then I go to work.  Come home, phone is not turning on.  Not at all.  So, I plug it into a different outlet.  Go to the gym.  Come home, phone it still not turning on.  Uh oh... maybe it was exposed to some super cold temperature on the FedEx ride over and now it's just dead.  I try plugging it into the computer.... nada.  So then I Google, "how to restart and android phone," and everyone says, "take out the battery and put it back in."  So, I open the back of the phone.... EMPTY.  The damn thing didn't have a battery. 

This was after I had already written Ben the letter, "sorry man, I think your phone didn't make it...."  Ah well.  I felt pretty stupid.  haha.  I guess it's kinda funny.

Everyone else having a good week???  I hope so! 

Working tomorrow... then going to the gym with Kara later.  No plans for this weekend... probably just hang around and do crafts. 




I thought you might like some cute pictures of Ruby.  She's just waking up from a nap in the first picture, and in the second picture, she's reaching into a vase full of water to get a drink.  Cutie. 


OK!  I think that's it for tonight.  I've been going to bed KINDA early and I like it.  Never thought I'd say that.  Like, ever.

Hope everyone has a great Friday!  Plans for the big St. Patrick's weekend?  Stay safe!  Have fun!  Talk to you all soon!!!!!

love,
Julie


you're the bright star of the west
you're the land St. Patrick blessed
you're my dear little isle so far away


Sunday, March 10, 2013

First Week of March Blues

I MADE IT!  I made it through the first week of March 2013, which had been looming for a while now. 

1.  I BOUGHT my car!  Yes.  So, three years ago this first week of March, my other car died and I needed a new car.  I decided to lease a Prius.  Jump ahead to three years later which is NOW, and I just bought that very same Prius.  :)  Did I want a brand new 2013 Prius plug-in?????  Yes.  Yes I did.  Very much.  But literally the only option I could afford was to buy the current car.  Which I love and I'm so happy I didn't have to give it up.  And hey - I bought a car!  It's pretty stressful (especially when you have zero credit history... like I do...) but worth it, hopefully.

2.  Ben left for the Navy!  Yes!  He's in Chicago for basic training!!  I realized AFTER he left that I am actually really excited for him and believe in him %100.  Of course, these were things I couldn't express BEFORE he left :/  Mainly due to crying.  But, I fully intend on writing these things to him in my first letter, which I may draft later on tonight. 


Aw!  We're cute!  That's back when we had our adventure throughout northern New Hampshire in August.  That was the best day ever.


I've been trying to stay super busy since he left.  Going to the gym a lot.  I made pasta salad today!  With fresh mozzarella! 

I completed a few craft projects that I wanted to complete.  I bought supplies to complete more craft projects on my list.  I plan to start blogging again... (GET EXCITED!).  The idea is that time will pass quickly until I get to go to Chicago for Navy graduation!!!!!  AND SEE KERIANNE!!!!!! 

Dear Navy,

You couldn't have picked a better spot for basic training because one of my BFFs lives there!!!!!!!  

Love,
Julie

I talked to Kerianne on the phone for a while the other night and WE'RE SO EXCITED!!!!!!  I'm already planning my outfit for the airplane!!!!  Getting a little ahead of myself?  Ok, ok.  Let's just get through the rest of the night, yes?  (I don't own any of the clothing items anyways.  YET.)

Also getting me through this first week - 80'S MUSIC!!!!  I've been listening to it a lot!  Because there's pretty much no way it'll make me cry.  It's mostly upbeat and silly.  Also I love it. 

AND ALSO GETTING ME THROUGH THIS FIRST WEEK - Kara!  I've seen here like everyday and we've done lots of fun things and had two sleepovers!  She's the best sister ever and I just know I would be a wreck without her. 






And of course, my little Ruby Tuesday!  She's been super cuddly and loving and making sure I'm okay.  This is my favorite picture of Kara and Ruby.  It's the picture that comes up on my phone when Kara calls.  (And she has her own Taylor Swift ringtone, too.)

Alright!  Well, I'm about to head off to the gym with Kara and Brittany!  I just wanted to give a quick update kick-off post to get back in the swing of things! 

I'll be back soon!!  Hope everyone else had a great first week in March! 


love,
Julie