2:30

my tooth hurts. that's why i put 2:30 as the subject. i thought it might be funny. are you laughing? i can't quite see you. maybe it's not funny. maybe i've talked about it too much and it was never funny.

whatever let's move on.

the shirt dying process went well. wait, did i tell you i was dying shirts? or did i just twitter that? hmm....now i can't remember. well, i dyed some shirts black tonight. 2 of them to be exact. they're in the dryer now. yep. it went well. i splashed dye literally all over the stove. but, it washed up later. i was happy about that. although, a tye dye stove might be hip.

just finished watching A Lot Like Love. have you seen this movie? i like it. a lot. no, i love it a lot. i like it a lot like love. it's a great movie. the first time i watched it, i thought it was just going to be stupid. but, it's really good. it's super funny and it has a great soundtrack.

but, the reason i love it a lot is this one scene with Amanda Peet. she wears this orange sweatshirt. MAN i love that orange sweatshirt. and she wears it with a skirt. and she just looks so freaking cool. i think about that sweatshirt a lot. not like, in a creepy way. but just sometimes when i want to look cool. and i'm like, "i wish i could look as cool as she does in that orange sweatshirt." i'm totally serious, i think that a lot.

it's just like, a normal sweatshirt. hoodie. orange. i just love it. great job to whoever did the costumes for that movie. that orange sweatshirt has stuck with me throughout the years. and i'm not joking. i'm really jealous of that sweatshirt and how cool she looks in it.

ok. done.

so, it's 2:13am. sunday morning. i have to be at work in 5 hours and 47 minutes. awesome! i think i might bring my lap top to work.

oh! laptop story! i told you the first story about how i thought it died because of the weird screen thing it did.

well. this afternoon, i'm just surfing along. minding my own business. listening to 'i love you' by the zombies. and the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH appears. that screen where it's like, "WE FOUND A PROBLEM AND YOU'RE SCREWED. HOPE YOU BACKED UP YOUR STUFF. THIS MIGHT BE THE END. YOU CAN TRY AND RESTART IT, BUT I'M NOT PROMISING ANYTHING." you know that screen? man, it sucks. that was the screen i could not avoid when my hard drive crashed a few years ago. it's like, that screen pops up and my heart stops.

so, i took a deep breath. Ruby was sitting on my lap at the time, and i explained to her that this might be the last time we use the computer. and i'm like, getting pretty nervous. and i shut it off by the power button for the second time today. restarted it. and covered my face with my hand.

and it took soooooooo long to start up. and i couldn't even watch. i was just like, "omg omg omg omg omg it's really not going to work, is it?" and i SERIOUSLY thought that was it.

but then it happened - windows is starting up. i got that message and i knew we were in the safe zone. we made it. and everything has worked fine since.

but, i was thinking like, this really sucks. not knowing if my computer is going to totally blow out one day. and then i decided: wow, i think i want nice things. like, my laptop is on its way out, and i wish i could get a new one. i wish i didn't have to wait for it to die on me.

wait a second.....how old am i? am i 23? or am i 22? am i going to be 24 next year?? no. no way. 24? that can't be right. there's got to be a math problem there. holy man. when did that happen?? i'm going to be 24!!!!????? that's like, a person. that's like, there's no more joking around. no, i must be turning 23. 24 is too old. oh man i just got sick feeling.

because, i was thinking, "maybe if i start saving some money now, i will be able to buy myself a new laptop for my birthday." and then i thought, "how old are you going to be?" and then i just had that panic sesh.

but man, i need to get going. not like, to bed. but like, with my life.

ok, nevermind. i can't get on one of these things right now where i talk about all the things i want to be and then panic because i really have no idea what i want to be or how i'm going to get anywhere with my life.

OK DONE THANKS BYE.

sooo...i did not receive any emails today. nope. not one. i kept checking all day and none arrived. at first i was happy because it meant that i was just alone all day. but then i was like, 'but why doesn't anyone have anything to say to me??' and then i got sad.

but, kara called me! on the phone! while i was dying my shirts! and i was excited about that because i hadn't talked to her all week and i thought she forgot about me.

i told her that i wanted to go to Friendly's. because, it seems on facebook everyone has been going to friendly's. and it makes me want to go.

UM, KNOW WHERE EVERYONE IS ALSO GOING?!?! to see the pixies!!! like, 3 of my friends are going to see them! ok, that's not everybody. but, it's 3 people!

aaaahhhh i want to go to a concert!!!! rooney tour now please!!!!!!!!!

love Cactus. yeah. love that song.

soooo. work. sunday. 8-4. ugh. we have to go grocery shopping. that should take like, an hour. but, besides that, we have nothing planned. i hope i don't get into any arguments tomorrow. i just don't feel like it! please just do what you're supposed to do and don't fight with me.

so remember how i ran out of soy milk last night? friday night. so, i'm thinking about making my tea tonight. and then i decide that it just won't be the same without milk. so instead! i enjoyed a cold beverage, but! i put it in my mug so it would seem like i was drinking tea. and we all know how much i love drinking cold beverages out of mugs!!!! it's so fun!!!! so, that's what i did. and it rocked pretty hard.

no plans for tomorrow after work. no plans for monday. work tuesday.

i'll probably bring some books to work tomorrow. and maybe my laptop. maybe get some writing done. some b-logging. some creative writing.

oh! i have to do my cover song post. maybe i'll do that tomorrow. i know you can't wait any longer.

i had that Jonas Brothers song stuck in my head allllllllll night. 'letting you down.' it's a good song. they should release it.

ummmm......okay. i might go to bed now. it's 2:47am. sunday morning. work at 8am. i already know what i'm wearing (jeans, newly dyed black t-shirt, purple cardi), and how i'm doing my hair (however it is when i wake up). so, that's easy. i think i might make coffee before. and bring it down in the travel mug. and i can't decide about breakfast. i might make some waffles to bring down. oh, we'll see.

i miss you a lot!!! whoever you are, wherever you are - i really miss you. and i'm serious.

i want to take a bus trip somewhere. not the Bus Eireann - but the Dave Bus. i want to take a ride on the Dave Bus. and like, go cross country. on a bus!

Andrew said that if i learned guitar we could go on tour. maybe i'll take him up on that.

wouldn't it be great to take a super long bus trip with all your friends?! i could start, and then pick everybody up along the way. like a bus taxi! only, for my friends. and, we would just pick you up. you wouldn't need to call. i guess not like a bus taxi.

what was that bus? that famous bus....in like, the 60's??? oh! The Merry Pranksters!!! they traveled on their bus. we wouldn't have to take all the drugs. unless you wanted to, i guess. i would probably just say no. but that would be so fun! we could be famous! loves it.

i just want to see all my friends together and have a big dance party. UGH I WANT TO HAVE A DANCE PARTY. how fun was dancing at kerianne's wedding? um, totes fun a lot. like, a lot. me and aliya totes killed it on the dance floor. and those three guys were pretty awesome too.

ok, let's have a dance party. maybe not on a bus. but maybe at a bus stop. that way, ALL OF US, can take the bus into this one location (as central as possible), and we'll all hang out for a few hours, have a rockin' dance party, and then we'll get back on the bus and go home!

ugh i want to go somewhere. i want to stay in a hotel.

ok i'm going to bed now. 3:02am. work at 8am.

i wonder how much longer i will live here. not like, how much longer until i die. but how much longer will i live in new hampshire. i'm kind of getting sick of it. i wonder where i will live after this. i wonder what my job will be.

like, i know that i don't know what i want to do. but, i wonder what i will really do. ya know? like, in 40 years, will i look back on this blog and be like, "omg, i can't believe i had no idea i was going to do this!!" hopefully i won't say 'omg.' but, maybe i will! who knows? i don't. i don't know. if you thought i had all the answers - i don't.

sometimes i'm like, "i just wish i was there already." you know? THERE. like, when will i get there?! but then sometimes i'm like, "this is all part of it."

ok. 3:10am. going to bed now. maybe my dream tonight will be so prophetic that i will wake up and be like, "YES!! THAT'S IT!!!!!" and then know exactly what i will do.

i hope you are having a good night. hey, what do you do? if you're reading this right now, what do you do during the week? do you work? what are you? what do you do? i'm just curious. you don't need to provide your name. or location. but maybe, a friendly greeting, and then what you do.

or, if you don't want to tell me here, you could tell me HERE:::

the.green.seahorse@gmail.com

THE BLOG EMAIL ADDRESS!!!!!! i forgot to put it up somewhere on the blog. i'll do that sunday at work.

ok. hey, did i tell you that i like you? oh, i do. i like you a lot. maybe i know who you are, and maybe i don't. but, i just think you're great. i think you're so great, i can't even really put it into words. i really hope you know that.


bloody your hands on the cactus tree
wipe it on your dress and send it to me


<3

(maybe that last part sounded creepy, but it's the lyrics to 'cactus' by the pixies. i promise. they wrote it - not me.)