"what's gas-lighting?"
let's see where i left off...
i got into bed with my cup of tea. read some of The Old Man and the Sea. then i got lonely so i whistled for Ruby Tuesday. about five minutes later she came in and jumped on the bed with me. she sat on my lap and got sleepy again.
then i went to go get my phone so i would have an alarm set in case i fell asleep. but then kara started texting me saying that her computer hard drive had died. so then i asked her if her campus has an IT office. she said she didn't think so. but i knew that they probably did.
so, i got out of bed and went to my laptop and googled "johnson and wales computer office" and discovered that they do have a computer helpdesk. it's on the downcity campus.
i texted her back this information. i was happy that i think i helped her.
then. i don't know. i can't remember. i didn't get back into bed.
oh yeah. i remember. i watched some more Rooney video diaries on youtube. i'm happy now because i've seen them all. actually, i'm sad because i'm all caught up. and i really enjoyed them. my favorite was the one where Jason called in and Robert put him on speaker phone. i also like the one where Robert is sitting on his couch with his dog. i am excited for him to make more.
so around 1am i decided i should eat supper because i hadn't eaten since breakfast. and, i had a packet of these garlic shells, or something. and it said that they only cooked in 11 minutes. so, i made those.
but, i didn't have any regular milk. i just had vanilla soy milk. so, i figured, "i've substitued vanilla soy milk in macaroni and cheese and it turned out fine, so it will be fine in this too."
so, it's boiling and boiling. and it's totally not thickening up. and so it's on the stove for like, 15 minutes. and it's all watery.
so i take it off the heat. and it thickens up a tiny bit.
and then i put some in a bowl and begin to enjoy it. and then i realize that it does not taste good at all. like, not at all. it's like this strange vanilla garlic sauce. just really, really bad. but, i keep having bites. and then thinking, "ugh this is terrible." and then not eat any for a minute. and then think, "well, maybe it's not as bad as i remember it." and then take another bite. "ugh this is terrible." minute. "maybe it's not as bad as i remember." this continued for a while. then i put the bowl down and stopped cold turkey.
anyways. now i'm tired. it's 2:28am. i have to be up at 6:45. working until 9. then staff meeting at 12:30. i hope i feel better. i guess i should probably go to sleep.
i'm definitely feeling much better. even since i was in bed reading.
i tuned my guitar. sounds pretty nice now. it was really flat.
ok. i'll talk to you in the morning. at work.
i didn't get my love letter in my email today, but that's alright. there's always tomorrow.
oh, and i got the virus off my computer again. wasn't as hard this time. i hope it doesn't come back.
ok. love. goodnight.
<3
I do that with cooking blunders all the time - try to convince myself that I should/can keep eating but then I am sorry when I take another bite. I am glad you were able to articulate it.
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