"can we talk this through and make things right? oh, i'd sure as hell like to try."

yeah. i'm on my computer. i have no idea what's happening. computer won't start in any safe mode. none of my virus scans are working. anytime i search for anything that sounds helpful, the computer crashes. i'm kind of at a loss.

i don't think i should even be on the computer right now. all my passwords and bank accounts are probably now free game out there in internet land.

and i believe i mentioned that my screen is partially falling off? yeah. so, my computer is not only falling apart on the inside, but also on the outside.

i don't know whether or not to laugh or cry.

i cried during Paper Heart. the movie i saw tonight. it was released on tuesday. but, for some reason they mailed it to my on monday. so i GOT it on tuesday. sweet deal!

it was so sweet. and so nice. and heartbreakingly awkward. Bill Haverchuck was only in one scene. it was still worth it. he's a good looking guy.

i decided i want to find a great guy. like, a really great guy. ok, thanks!

so, let me talk more about my horoscope. this is way more important than protecting my personal information that may be hacked into due to viruses. duh.

so, today is a new month. it's december. i must admit, i was excited for december to start. i had this feeling about december. i'm not joking. it was kind of like, a magical type feeling. even the word 'december' looked and sounded just a tad more sparkly than it ever had before.

and so i thought, "hey! it's the last month of 2009, i'll read my monthly horoscope."

so, i'm reading my horoscope for the month, and suddenly i feel very nervous. it's saying some pretty intense things. like, i actually got a nervous feeling in my stomach. and i thought, "uh oh, i hope i can live up to what the planets have in store for me."

this is what it reads:


December 1, Uranus turns direct in the first house of you and your personality and the change you've been experimenting with for several years take even your best friends by surprise. On December 2, the Full Moon in the house of your early childhood literally paints "the end" to a certain period of your life. Your daily routine is turned upside-down when Mars in daredevil Leo literally stands still in the house of everyday activity on December 20 to linger in that sign for months to come. Mercury, the planet of communication, follows on December 26, and you could make a startling statement to someone in your group and the story may spread like wild fire. You are going for broke this month, Pisces, and on December 31 with a Lunar Eclipse in Cancer (a Blue Moon) it intensifies the shock. In one full sweep, you could encompass both a brainchild and a love affair.


okay, those last two sentences totally freak me out!!

You are going for broke this month, Pisces, and on December 31 with a Lunar Eclipse in Cancer (a Blue Moon) it intensifies the shock. In one full sweep, you could encompass both a brainchild and a love affair.

ok, that LAST LINE totally freaks me out!!!!

In one full sweep, you could encompass both a brainchild and a love affair.

um, WHAT?!?! totally whoa.

when i first read the second to last line, i read, "you are going broke this month, pisces," and that really freaked me out. i immediately thought, "oh no! don't buy the laptop!!!" but then i reread it. going FOR broke. yikes. better or worse?

i think i was recently talking about how LAST new years i was reading my 2009 horoscope and it said that i would have 9 unfavorable months and 3 favorable ones. i feel that maybe this is one of the favorable ones. and i can't screw it up.

so, after reading this monthly horoscope, i went to another site and read a few different ones. all of them talk about something big happening at the end of the month.

another one said that i should "be careful" on the 25th. which, should be fairly easy because i just signed up to work a double. 8am to 10pm. or technically, 3pm december 24th to 8am december 26th.

and another one said that the 13th and 14th will be very great, very romantic days for me. hey, i'm fine with that.

anyways. all this is making me nervous. and i'm even more nervous for january 1st to come, only to find out that nothing exciting has happened this month. like, i guess that would be the worst. if, after all this hype, nothing happened.

and, it says that something that happens on 2 december (today) will paint "the end" to a certain period of my life. what does that mean? my computer dying?

i guess i don't take that to mean that something will END today, but that something will start forming today that will eventually lead to the end of something. something will start to paint.

i don't know. it's 4:35am.

i'm kind of excited for work tonight. which is strange. i'm just excited about interacting with people. that's even weirder, right?

hmm. i don't know.

i guess maybe i should go to sleep.

oh!!!! i know something great that happened today. i went to the post office. (do you know where this is going???) yeah, i saw the ruggedly handsome postal worker. he waited on me.

RUGGEDLY HANDSOME POSTAL WORKER: Hey! How ya doing?
JULIE: I'm good! How are you doing?
RUGGEDLY HANDSOME POSTAL WORKER: Good!
JULIE: [says p.o. box number]
RUGGEDLY HANDSOME POSTAL WORKER: (walking into the back room) Is it a movie??
JULIE: (omg he knows who i am!!!!) It should be!!
RUGGEDLY HANDSOME POSTAL WORKER: (comes out from the back) Yep!

oh, it was great. he remembered me. and that the only mail i ever get are Netflix! one of these days he will come out from the back room with my movie and i will say, "do you want to watch it with me?" won't that be great? yeah. it will be.

ok. now that all my personal information is available to all the world, i guess i'll go to sleep now. maybe. i'm not tired. it's 4:45am. why don't i ever want to go to sleep??

so, i don't know what tomorrow holds. hopefully nothing but good. for you and for me.


goodnight friends.


<3